So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
