k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
