I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
