God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
