We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
