Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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