I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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