I have demons in me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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