I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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