Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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