Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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