We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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