ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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