garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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