Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
