If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
