she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
