This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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