I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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