I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize