Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
