sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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