i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Randomize
