u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
