Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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