So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
