After last night, I could never be a politician.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
