Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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