just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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