Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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