I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize