Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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