He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
