i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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