Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
