You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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