i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
