My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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