I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
