Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
