I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Did you just see the Batmobile???
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
