How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
