Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
