My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
