This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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