Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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