I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
