Where did you get a picture of my penis
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
