That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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