whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
