I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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