So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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