YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
