whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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