I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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