I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
