i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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