Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
