Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
