turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
