my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
