considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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