You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
