Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
