I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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