so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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