It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
