D3 body, D1 cock
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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