yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she pinky promised me she was 18
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
