it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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