Midget sex pt 2 tonight
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Randomize
