i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
