I just threw up on my dentist
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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