worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
