you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
