He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
