The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
