i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had to cum in my sink.
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