it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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