note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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