Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
