Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I love you.
Bad choice
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
