it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You have to summon your inner elephant
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
