I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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