She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize